Just wait to see if he’s acting like a boyfriend FIRST; don’t treat him like one until he’s earned it. Practice sexclusivity (particularly if you can’t handle no-strings-attached sex) I’ve written about this extensively, so I won’t rehash the entire argument.
But, in short, if you are the type of woman who does not like the feeling of sleeping with a man when you have no idea whether he’s your boyfriend, STOP sleeping with men who are not your boyfriend.
And, if I don’t talk with him immediately, when is the right time to talk about being exclusive (if he doesn’t bring it up)? I’m going to give you a cheat sheet to tell you the most effective way to get into a relationship with a new guy.
Before I do, I’d like to pre-empt all of the people who are inclined to tell me I’m wrong because they did it another way: yes, there are 100 ways to do things.
This was specifically created to protect the hearts of women who have sex with guys they’ve been seeing for a few weeks, and proceed to get upset when they see him online, when he doesn’t text frequently enough, and when it’s become increasingly clear that he just wanted sex, not a relationship. If he does – if he thinks he deserves to get laid when he hasn’t committed to you – well, I guess he’s not going to get laid. A man isn’t boyfriend-worthy because you feel a real connection with him.
If that describes you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with four weeks of foreplay without intercourse, and if the guy bails, it’s because he really didn’t want a relationship with you to begin with. Any questions about sexclusivity can be addressed here. Don’t leave any daylight between exclusive and boyfriend. Sometimes, when women who are new at “sexclusivity” bring it up to their men, they say something like, “So I just want to make sure you’re not sleeping with anybody else right now.” The guy says, “Nope. A man is boyfriend-worthy if he’s demonstrating that he’s serious about being in a relationship with you.
I trust him and know that he is being honest, but now that we have slept with each other, it makes me feel vulnerable and nervous. I am very happy (and he said that he is happy when he is with me) and like him the more I get to know him.